As the last three months of my twenties stretch out in front of me I’ve been taking a look back at what I’ve learned in the last 10 years.
There have been milestone: moving to Hertfordshire and having to make a new friendship group, becoming a mum and a wife which have shaped the way my life is today and as well as lots of life lessons.
I know that I still have so much to learn but I feel like I have come such a long way in both my personal and professional lessons. Maybe some of them will resonate with you.
#1 Happiness is First
Happiness is a bit of a myth. Our default setting is that we have to be successful to be happy. However, this is so wrong. When striving for the perfect outcome or to be the most successful, whether in our professional or personal lives all we are doing is piling more pressure on ourselves.
I’ll let you into a little secret success doesn’t make us happy but happiness brings success.
You can’t wait around fo happiness or think it.s just couldn’t to land in your lap you have to fight for it. It’s the foundation to our lives. If your happy you are more motivated and therefore more productive.
#2 I’d rather be hated than fake
Ok so no-one wants to be hated. But I would much rather have a handful of genuine friends who get me than be fake.
I think this is why I get so shy and anxious when meeting new people or in group situations because I just can’t do it. I can’t be fake. What you see is what you get. I’m the one who says exactly what everyone is thinking. As I’m sure you can imagine this doesn’t always go down to well but this is me.
#3 Comparing yourself to others is counterproductive
Its so tempting to do so. But we have no ideas about the life experiences of others, the advantages and disadvantages that they have had to face to get to where they are.
#4 Don’t assume
If you think you’ve upset someone or someone is mad at you, ask them. If a friends seems upset ask them if they’re ok. Don’t let things escalate so that they start to effect your mental health. One little assumption can lead to. whole load of misunderstandings and upset which is totally unnecessary.
#5 Its ok not to be ok
Some times life serves us lemons. We need to throw our toys out of the pram, feel sorry for ourselves for a while and then move on. No one is perfect, everyone needs time to take a take a step and loosing your shit every now again is totally ok.
#6 Be Kind
Kindness costs nothing. A simple gesture could make such a difference to another day. There is so much negativity in the world that we live in, the last thing we want to be doing is adding to this.
#7 Let the people you love know
I’ve witnessed a number of losses, some very personal. But I still don’t think I could ever be prepared for the loss of a loved one.
No of us know what’s just around the corner. Loss, is the most real part of live. Make sure you cherish the ones that you love, as well as those that love you.
#8 Everything will be ok
Things may not turn out the way we wanted or expected but everything will be ok. It may be hard for a time, but we are made of strong stuff and can get through this.
#9 Be grateful
Even of the smallest of things that we often take for granted. Just take a look around you, there are so many people who face far bigger problems then you every day. I’m not saying that we should disregard our own troubles but its important that we put them into perspective and that we are grateful for all of the good that we have in our lives.
#10 Work will still be there tomorrow
Finding a work-life balance can be so hard. We strive to be successful but this often leaves us losing sight of what’s most important. Sometimes we just need to take a step back. Reset and make the most of our families. After all as I said work will still be there tomorrow.
#11 Make decisions for you
Guilt, often gets the better of us. But lets not let others guilt trip us into making decisions that better suit them. We are the ones that are going to have to live with the outcome of our decisions. If we let them people will walk all over us. It’s about finding a balance and doing for people what you know they would do for you.
#12 Look after your health
Our health is vital. My weight and work outs regime has yo-yoed so much over the last ten years. This is something that I know I need to work harder at going into my 30’s. Our health is so vital but yet we often take it for granted.
#13 Life is Precious
We never know what is around the corner so make sure that every second counts. Even after a busy week when you really can’t be bothered make sure you make time for friends and family.
#14 Self-care is a must
it’s so important to make time for yourself every once in a while. I don’t mean lavish trips to spa, kid free nights out but a bubble bath in peace, five minutes to fill out your journal or loose yourself in a book. Anything that you can do for you and shut everything else out for 10 minutes.
#15 Take every opportunity
The same opportunity may never come up again. Grab anything that comes your way with both hands. Don’t talk yourself out of it.
#16 Embrace failure
Everybody fails sometimes. Embrace it and learn from it. Success is built from failure.
#17 Things don’t work out for a reason
sometimes we put our heart and soul into things and they don’t work out. Rejection hurts but another opportunity will still come up and least your doing something. One day you’ll be so happy that job or person that didn’t work out won’t matter any more.
#18 You and your friends will change
We all go through things in our lives that change us and the relationships that we have with others. Most relationships are not built to last a life time but to help form us. When we become parents, move houses, take the next steps in our careers it takes a lot more work to spend time with friends. Sometimes you might not want to put in the effort and that’s ok. True friendships will always stand the test of time.
#19 Eliminate negative people
Life is to short for people that make you feel like you aren’t worthy. Don’t waste your time on people that try to make themselves feel better by tearing you down. The sooner you kick people who don’t make you feel good about yourself to the curb the better.
#20 Know that your enough
We spend so much of our time feeling alone, like we are failing at our jobs, our friendships, at motherhood etc. But just know that are enough and that you’ve got this. All we can do is our best.
No matter your age is there any important life lessons that you have learned? Or do any of the above particularly resonate with you? I’d love to hear in the comments.